Screaming Libertine

Posts Tagged ‘fail story’

In the olden days when shoes were a luxury and smallpox was a right of passage, men like William Randolph Hearst used their complete control over communication airwaves to tell the general populace whatever lie happened to be convenient (see marijuana is evil) or interesting (see below).

With the advent of the Internet, the situation has changed so that instead of powerful media moguls spreading bullshit, pretty much anybody can do it. After all, if the story is good enough, the mainstream media will report it, no matter how transparently retarded it is.

This is more fine work from Cracked.com. I saw several of these when they were ‘news’ and laughed my ass off, but there are also some gems that I’ve never seen before. The tag for ‘media fail’ is born.

Read the original article at Cracked.com

North County couple Tom and Marguerite Nunn sued the nonprofit corporation — known also as Conservation Ambassadors — seeking payback for what they said was an accidental donation of $93,447…But Marguerite Nunn said her computer accidentally put her ZIP code in the spot where the dollar amount was supposed to be, causing a check for the much larger amount to be mailed.

So this lady is so braindead that she didn’t notice her computer printing a check for $94k instead of $130. The charity, being charitable people after all, claim they spent $60k so fast that they couldn’t give it back. Sure, let’s go with that. So. Much. Fail.

Original Article at SanLuisObispo.com

With a record of felony assault in New York ten years ago, a federal judge recently sentenced him to 41 months in prison for repeatedly sneaking into the United States.

Cruz is now serving that sentence in federal prison.

But, he was recently discovered at a bus stop – ticket in hand – transferring himself from one federal prison in Minnesota to another in Texas.

There wasn’t a guard in sight.

This is indeed pretty ridiculous. The feds are using bus lines to transfer prisoners from one prison to another without supervision. Hooray for Greyhound…it’s not like bus lines are in any financial trouble already or anything.

In fairness they’re not doing this with people in prison on violent offenses, but even taking a sideways glance at this you come to the pretty obvious question: how many just take off? Well, according to this source 77 inmates took off during these “unescorted transfers” from 2003-2005. Doesn’t that even sound a bit ridiculous? “Unescorted Transfers.”

“Ok man, here’s your bus ticket to your new federal prison. Now you gotta pinky swear you’re not gonna take off.”

What a horrendously obvious Fail.

Original Article

This was either one giant rubber or one determined stoner. Another victim of Hippie Crack.

I’d like to think that I’d notice my balls hanging between two slats of a deck chair and realize problems would ensue.

In addition to files relating to the aircraft, hackers gained entry into the Air Force’s air traffic control systems, according to the officials. Once they got in, the Internet hackers were able to see such information as the locations of U.S. military aircraft in flight.

Last week news came out indicating that the government would like to take control of private network security (because nothing could possibly go wrong there). This week we’ve got news that Lockheed Martin got hacked and hackers got access to a bunch of technical data regarding the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter. The military has big plans for this particular plane, and is planning to deploy it in various versions to all branches of service.

The hackers got into “a major contractor” (presumably Lockheed Martin, as they were getting pressed for details), and “the information could be used to make the plane easier to fight or defend against.” A few lines later it seems that “the officials insisted that none of the information accessed was highly sensitive data.” It seems to me that information that makes the plane easier to kill would be sensitive data…silly me.

I’d like to see the government secure their own networks prior to having them tell my NOC how to operate. The fact that hackers could get into Lockheed and from there directly into military air traffic control is a pretty hefty breach.

Original Article at CNN

Milton Boneta, 61, was crossing Eighth Street in his motorized wheelchair when the bus hit him while making a left turn, police said.

In a tragic twist of fate, police said, Boneta lost a leg in September when a SEPTA bus hit him near the same location. “That’s why he was in a wheelchair,” said Sgt. Lawrence Ritchie of the Accident Investigation Division.

If I was this guy, I think I’d just stay inside from now on. No statistics handy on how likely it is to get hit by a bus twice, but I’m guessing the chance is pretty low and somehow modified by an inability to look both ways before crossing the street.

Original Article

WASHINGTON - A U.S. Border Patrol agent who tried to import rare tortoises in a box labeled “scorpions” pleaded guilty on Tuesday to animal-trafficking charges, the Justice Department said.

Again, we have a law enforcement official that isn’t smart enough to get away with anything himself. How can we expect these guys to catch criminals when actual criminals are smarter than they are? He was a Border Patrol agent that didn’t know it was illegal to import scorpions, for fuck’s sake. Whatever he ends up getting, I vote we add a public flogging.

Original Article at MSNBC

Saudi police say they are investigating a hoax that has seen people rushing to buy old-fashioned sewing machines for up to $50,000 (£33,500). The Singer sewing machines are said to contain traces of red mercury, a substance that may not exist.

I’m guessing this hoax was started by some wiseass with a warehouse full of sewing machines, but this is really pretty ridiculous. How do you shell out $50k for something without doing any research?

Here are the results of my extensive research on Red Mercury (I went to all the trouble to Google it and read the Wikipedia entry, which was the first result. I know, I went to way too much trouble). I know that Middle Eastern countries tend to have less access to the internet and a higher rate of poverty, but one would have to assume that anyone with $50k to spend on an old ass sewing machine would have access to Google. Wikipedia chronicles the origins of the hoax back to 1990.

Original Article

MEXICO CITY — Mexico is protesting what it says is a whopper of an insult.

An advertisement for Burger King’s Texican Whopper burger that has run in Europe shows a small wrestler dressed in a cape resembling a Mexican flag. The wrestler teams up with a lanky American cowboy almost twice his height to illustrate the cross-border blend of flavors.

Still no word on out the out-of-control drug cartels. Everyone knows the best herb is home-grown anyway.

Original Article