Screaming Libertine

Archive for March, 2009

And what have you done to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse?

Over the past 6 months, I have been playing a fun game with my credit card company. The game finally backfired on me today and led me through the most hilarious moment of my life. Most people would have been embarrassed, but me, I’m a little twisted, so I laughed all the way through it like an asshole.

With any story, there is a setup process…

I try not to throw the phrases “Epic Win” and “Epic Fail” around too much. I feel they should be reserved for the truly epic, and this definitely qualifies. Truly hilarious, and I highly recommend reading the entire thing.

Original Article

My hat’s off to anyone with the stones to put this statue up in public.

Scientists working at the National Ignition Facility of the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California, have built the most powerful laser in the world, capable of simulating the energy force of a hydrogen bomb and the sun itself.

I haven’t seen a whole lot publicized regarding controlled fusion reactions recently. If this thing works even remotely like it’s purported to it will be a breakthrough to an entirely new, totally sustainable form of energy. The technology to actually implement it on a mass scale would still probably be a decade or two off, but proof of a method would have a profound impact in itself. Controlled fusion is like the holy grail of renewable energy because of the monstrous amount of power that can be generated with no waste products. I bet it takes some nasty shit to power those lasers, however.

If you’re even a little bit of a science geek I highly recommend reading the Original Article.

An inmate alleges two deputies got another prisoner to put his penis on a bologna sandwich which he ate…”As soon as he had finished eating the sandwich Deputy Cantwell taunted him, and took out his cell phone on which he displayed a photo of another inmate in the jail with his penis on the bologna sandwhich,” the statement said.

“Hey, that’s not big enough to be a bologna!”

While some small part of my black little heart feels bad for the inmate, this incident is going to provide jailhouse humor for years. The essence of the fail here is the cop taking a picture on his phone and waving it around…without which he probably never could have actually been charged with anything. Congratulations Deputy Joseph Cantwell, you’re up on charges for getting one of your inmates to put his dick where you told him to. Comedy. Fucking. Gold.

Original Article

Pirates who attacked a ship off the coast of Somalia got more than they bargained for when it turned out to be a naval vessel - from an international force against piracy, Nato said.

Nice work guys

Original Article

NOVARA, Italy, March 30 (UPI) — Parents are pushing an Italian primary school to fire a teacher after she discussed genital piercing with 11-year-olds during a sex education lecture…Parents said the teacher discussed subjects with the students including bondage, sadomasochism and genital piercings after a discussion about masturbation was taken off-subject.

If 11 year olds can take her discussion about the man in the boat this far off topic, I demand live audio from the classes with the teenagers.

Original Article

Newark Police have cited a 28-year old man for OVI and driving under suspension after discovering he crashed a motorized barstool on a public street while under the influence of alcohol.

So crashing your barstool because you’re too drunk to drive it is certainly a fail, but the possession of a motorized barstool in the first place definitely counts as a win. We’ll chalk this one up to WTF.

Original Article